Monday, August 12, 2013

The Second Half of This Post is Way Better

I don't know why I feel like blogging but sometimes being a girl means there's a million thoughts going on in your head and sometimes the best way to get them out is to just write.
And to all the guys who don't know what it feels like to have a million little thoughts just imagine about 472 tabs open on your Mac. All blaring music. All the time.

So hi! I don't know what's going on in my life right now. I don't have an awesome travel story or a big modeling break or fabulous man or cool success story or anything. And I'm okay with saying that. Err, most of that. The whole fabulous man thing. Can we park there a second?

Ugh. Reationships. Drama. Romance. Comedy. That's what it seems like to me mostly.
It's so overrated. Everybody has a boy or everyone's getting married and I love mac and cheese!!!

Every novel, every movie has some plot where some Hercules gets the girl and then they all live happily ever after and life is awesome and the sunset comes out and all that good stuff that sends girls head over heels on whatever actor played that character and then in real life it doesn't happen that way.

Girls, we are so naive to think that relationships are one big bow of perfection.
There goes the single girl giving relationship advice but sometimes things just need to be said.

This isn't going to be a boy blog. This isn't what I'm talking about. That's just a side note and now I'm going to write something else that will make mom happier for me to talk about. Let's just say she isn't a fan of my extremes of: "No boy likes me!" to "HEY WANNA MARRY ME?!" Don't read that mom.

[Transition from self-deprication to deep, theological questions with no witty line. Sorry to disappoint.]

What do you do when you feel like God's plan for your life isn't your own?
How do you handle God giving you a path that you feel is a dead end?
How easy is it to trust a God who still feels silent?

I actually don't have any of those answers so don't expect me to get holy because those are genuine questions. Sometimes it just feels good to just lay it all out there and say that your life isn't perfect and you don't know what God's next step is and you are okay with that. There's a freedom with that.

"If we're not careful, comfort can keep us from the cause of Christ."
The words didn't fall on me until I wrote it down and read it again. Perry Noble was bringing it in a new series at NewSpring called Step Up. And it stuck with me.

I don't want to be comfortable. I want to be sold out for the cause of Christ. What am I living for if it's not for His cause? What impact do I leave if this is my last day?
God has never called us to step down, step aside, or step anywhere but up.
What's my next step? What's my next step? That's all I have to figure out. Just a step.

What's your next step? How about taking a few extra minutes with Jesus tomorrow and asking Him that? Everybody has a next step. What is yours?

So, I can't figure out what to do with my life. I can't figure out my career or my degree plan or my job or my friends or a relationship or anything. Except my next step in my walk with Jesus Christ.

And everyone, I think that I can do that. Thanks for letting me close a couple of tabs here. I feel better.

It's 12:30. I just re-read that and am not sure if it's amazing to publish this or not but whatever. The only thing amazing about this post is that I'm not in bed yet. So this blog post should be changed to "I know. Please don't judge me." Instead. Goodnight.